I survived

..... my surgery. Thanks for asking, Diz, my friend.

I am still a bit sore. The not so bright nurse in post op told me that I needed to see the surgeon in a week, and not to take off the wrapping (the one that went from mid thigh all the way to my ankle) until I saw him. I was quite miserable with that wrapping. My knee was at a strange angle and the wrapping kept trying to slip down. I was so miserable trying to sleep... I just couldn't find a good position. I counted the days (and when it got closer, minutes ;) until I could get it off. When I went to the doctors the nurse told me I could have taken it off after 3 days. Grrrrrrr......

Anyway, it's been 3 weeks. I still have some pain, and the knee makes popping noises.... a lot. It happens everytime I stand up. The surgeon told me that could just be from the extensive arthritis I have in that knee I am getting around a LOT better, though still limping a bit, which is causing massive back pain. Yesterday I probably walked 2-3 miles. I took Kayleigh Trick or Treating 3 different times. I used 1 crutch, and it seemed to help alleviate the back pain.

The surgeon ordered the Synvisc shots for me (the ones for artritis in the knees) I suspect it is going to be a fight with Caremark (our Rx provider) to get these shots. Double Grrrrrrr. I was hoping to get them before we go to Michigan in 3 weeks, but I suspect that is not going to happen.

My weight has been going down, albeit slowly. I have about 11 pounds to go for the big 100. I would really like to be there by the time we go to Michigan (tick tock tick tock) but if it doesn't happen I will be fine with that, after all.... it's just a number on the scale. I will get there, if not before my trip then after.

My restriction has been pretty good. I still make the occasional not so great choice. I do not beat myself up though. This is a learning process, I do not make bad choices that often, this is NOT a diet.....it's a way of life and..... I am, after all, human.

I am still dealing with the monster in law issues. She was pronounced as being in remission a couple of months ago. We got tomorrow for another CT scan to see if the cancer is back. It will come back. This is not curable. It is just a waiting game.

I am a bit irritated with her. I really have done a lot these past 7 months or so to extend her life. All she does is lie in bed. She is pretty much in bed 23 hours a day. She gets up to go to the bathroom, or make herself a cheese sandwich (which she takes back to bed to eat) Once or twice a month she wants to go out and spend her social security check. We will usually go out to eat then to Walmart or something. We also usually grab a bite to eat after her doctors appointments. Other than that she is in bed.

Don't get me wrong. I'm sure she is depressed. But still..... why bother with chemo and radiation if all you are going to do is lay there til you die?

I nag her all the time. I'm sure she thinks I am an A1 bitch. And I am. I bug her about getting up.... I prod her (hey.....maybe a cattle prod??), I goad her, I beg her. Nothing works. I told her today that if the CT scan comes back bad she HAS to make a decision. I asked her if she just wants to lay there the next 2 years. I asked her why she has been doing all she can medically but is just laying there and shortening her life. I told her that she will not survive any sort of chemo (or possibly a drug trial) if she does not get up and get her heart beating.

I just don't know what else to do. Hmmmmmm...that cattle prod is sounding better and better.

That's my life right now. Later......

tomorrow is the big day

My knee surgery is at 1PM tomorrow. I'm so nervous. I just hate having general anesthesia.

I'll update tomorrow (or Saturday)

Later.....

I finally did it...

For those of you who have been with me for awhile.... remember when I bought the new jeans? (it will be a year Oct 1) I swore if I was not in them within the 90 days I had to return them I would return them. Well..... I did not return them. Today I was able to get them on!!!! They are quite tight still, but they were up, zipped...the whole nine yards. I will post the pics of them below.

I finally bit the bullet and went to an orthopedic surgeon a couple of weeks ago. My knees have been bad for years, clicking and making assorted other sounds, as well as quite painful. I have avoided going to a doctor because I didn't want to hear their s***. I figured, why pay someone to insult and belittle me when my mother would (gladly) do it for free??

Anyway, turns out I had a tear in the left knee meniscus on both sides of the knee (plus LOTS of arthritis) The doctor told me he can fix the tears but he's not sure if it will help me completely, because of the arthritis. I figure at this point anything will help. I have gotten to the point that I can't even walk for exercise. The kneecap is always trying to go out (it's sad when your knee goes out more than you!! ;) It has also been locking when I try to walk. I am so looking forward to having this done... hoping it will bring me some relief. I keep thinking about the series "Happy Days" There was an episode where Fonzie had to have knee surgery, on the day of surgery he was in the hospital and quite drugged up, he said "I'm going to the rip out room" So..... I guess I'm going to the rip out room soon too!!!

I'm still losing... which is, of course, a very good thing. I am pretty sure I can make my mini goal of 100 pounds lost before our next trip home to MI. (late Nov) Other than that it's the same ole-same ole. Dealing with the MIL and her cancer issues. She is done with chemo, now we are doing brain radiation. She goes back for another CT scan early November. Right now we are just waiting for the cancer to come back.

More soon......

This is kind of neat

This blog was featured on the online weight loss surgery channel. The link to it is: http://ow.ly/p0gZ It was kind of a neat thing for me. So, if you are checking out this blog beacuse of that, welcome, and feel free to stay with me for the ride!!!

Also, if you are new, I would love it if you could drop me a quick comment to let me know you stopped by.

Thanks Yvonne, for featuring me ;))

I just realized....

When I looked at my ticker that I am half way to where I want to be. 81 down, 81 to go!!! I may decide to go lower once I get rid of the 81, but for now I am over the moon to be halfway!!!!

a great giveaway

I know I have mentioned the blog theworldacordingtoeggfaceblogspot.com, if you haven't checked it out yet...you should. She has great recipes that she is updating all the time. Right now I am making her baked beans (can't wait to try them!!!!)


She is having a contest right now to give away a big tub of her favorite protein powder. I am hoping to win it.

So check it out!!

My legs are shrinking!!!

I have been trying to find some clothes that fit. I went to Catherines the other day and hit the clearance racks (I love Catherines.. but they are so freakin expensive. I only purchase from the clearance rack there..... can't wait til I'm not held hostage and can shop anywhere!!)

Anyway... I found a pair of jeans but they are a petite. I have never worn a petite... and they were long enough!!! How weird. I guess I am getting shorter???

I met up with some of my band friends for our monthly Red Robin meeting and got lots of great new clothes. All of the pants are too long for me, of course, now with my much shorter legs. The jeans are cute as heck, and I am going to find a place to get them shortened (even the "average" ones are a bit too long.) Go figure.....


Changing the subject...

I am thinking about making an appointment with a psychologist. I think I probably really need it. In the past I have gotten down to a certain weight and stopped losing. I guess I am afraid of losing "me".

Sometimes I think it is easier on those bandsters who gained weight in adulthood. They know what it is like to be "normal".

I have never been "normal"

I have always been fat.

I suffered as a fat child, a fat teenager, and carried all that pain into adulthood. I never had boyfriends growing up. I never went to the prom (or any other dances with a date) I was always the "good friend" I suffered a lot of mental abuse from my mother I will not go into now. Lets just say she had a lot to do with making me who I am today.

I am an adult now. I need to get over it. I may need help with that.

Still losing. Later....